Too many ‘Wants’

I don’t know what I want anymore, to be honest.

I want friends…but then, I just want to be left alone.

I want to live on my own…but then, I fear my family going crazy without me.

I want to lose weight…but I lack the motivation, effort, and way of getting it done.

I want a girlfriend…but without the talking in person, and embarrassing myself.

I want a different vehicle than I have now…

I want  to stop being last-minute at everything…

I want to go out and hang with like-minded folk…

I want to stop being a lazy piece of schmitt…

I want to feel less of a [false] burden on people…

I want to stop being a mumble-y mess all the time…

I want to…

…sometimes, just not be me…
…and that’s not even half the list…

   Until then, folks~



(A tweet I was filling out as a thread last night, 6/9/18)

‘I am CONSTANTLY getting frustrated with myself with not uploading any blog entries, or at least any short stories I think up. I think being lax since unemployment did that to me; to that, -1 to my previous employer.

‘But to sorta counter that fact is the fact that I actually Have stuff typed up. But imo (and a bit of perfectionist mentality), they aren’t ready for the limelight. Maybe it’s because I’m being a bit too personal, or I just like to be too detailed…but it’s killing me.

‘Idk if this can be remedied by working again, kicking my lazy gaming ass into gear, or just waiting until I feel up-to blogging again. It’s crazy cause in high school & some years after, I was churning out entries left & right, all entries being, IMO, mediocre at best.

‘(Blog was since deleted btw). But nowadays…I’m sorta just sitting here – or standing – typing up a storm then I just…Stop. Oftentimes, to look up a word or link something or put a picture in place. But it then lead to a block, and I put the entry away for later editing.

‘And I really don’t know why that is. I make SOOOO so so much progress within an hour or two, only to have that progress sitting for what feels like eternity, before I either decide to retread old posts, or just begin a new one altogether.

‘It’s an endless cycle that gets annoying after awhile. I won’t go across how many posts I currently have sitting in limbo, but…let’s just say that a majority of posts dealt with my adventures of working at a candy factory. I started in April last year, and fired in January…

‘Idk if there is a certain Some thing I can do to….get out of this stump, but I feel like Any thing is worth trying at this point.
I am a writer & I’d love to get these ideas out of my head. At the same time, I’d like to rant about life’s happening on the side.’

No title

Hayyy y’all…

So I have some content coming, I assure you. I don’t do promises because I have broken plenty in my past and even if I did anyway, we would all be another year older.
I can assure that I have a post being prepared. Actually, I have plenty of posts that need looking through to see if they are worth the time or not, including plenty from my days at the candy factory. Now with those, I will be going off of raw memory from as much as I have left. Thinking about it now, I might end up merging most of it together simply because either very little happened, or nothing unique happened. I will try to bring out what I meant to prior to my…discharge, which feels icky to say. True, but icky.
Can’t believe it’s been four months since then…Eh. In any case…

At the moment, things are a bit stressful for a multitude of reasons. First off, I had a group interview today for Hotel Housekeeping at a well-known casino. Now just like I did with the candy factory, only those close to me know the exact place of work. You guys, however…cannot risk it. Nothing against you all buut I wouldn’t want anyone to do anything at said place of work. And my goodness, I know that I did not type that last sentence in coherent English at all but we’re sticking to our guns!
Any how, the other two personal stresses are rather home-related: a mouse is roaming my home, and I have no idea where it could be. I have booby-trapped my whole room, as well as my sister’s and poisons in other rooms around the house. So if you are an animal rights activist, hello. Mice annoy me. A mouse pooed in one of my shoes. And I have a personal vendetta on this critter. It will die. And it will die soon.
Second, because I’ve been out of the job for so long, the family – well, me and my mom – has fallen deadly behind on car payments, a loan my mom took out many years ago as an act of desperation. She needed a vehicle to get back and forth to work and there was no choice, I assume. I understand. I feel for her to a personal extent. I wish I could do something about it but ever since January, the jobs have not been calling back. And the loan shar- er, people, are losing patience quickly. We are currently around four months past due, and I’m contemplating opening up a GoFundMe. But I will hold off until I get an answer from the potential job incoming.

Um…otherwise, that is all that is going on in my life. How are you lovely readers today? Glad you came by to show the blog some love. I hope you join me on my whirlwind of a life, and until then~

Hiatus Start

Hey, guys….Uh soo….
Blog’s going on hiatus…

Honestly…it’s not me, it’s you.
But seriously, I’ve been in a whirlwind of trouble lately that’s kept my mind busy & distracted all at once. I kinda hate awkward sentences into a list but WHATEVER!

  • Me & the family are being evicted, or the threat of being evicted now looms. And we have two weeks to pack it up. So that’s a load alone.
  • I landed a job, maybe two, if I consider it. More money buuut the option of OT at the incoming job is a better option. Depending on how I like it, first. (It’s also part-time)
  • I’m almost broke!
  • All of my bills are creeping up slowly…

And much, much more! It’s really scary to think about to be honest. At least for me.

So the gameplan now is to worry about real life first, because I’ll have to help out with moving, looking for houses, and such. The blog will be in thought – constantly in my case – and I will get around to fleshing out previously-planned entries when I can. Who knows, you might get to see an entry or two during this time away.

But until then, folks, I’ll be back, for sure~

The Comeback, Once More

Hay y’all!
It’s been awhile…again.

My goodness, I gotta stop with these hiatuses. I’m gathering quite an audience on Instagram, of all places. I wouldn’t want them clicking on my link to the blog, and then the last entry is back in 2017, June I believe. Kinda embarrassing, especially now. I swear I like blogging. And I like writing more.

That’s why I set up a constant reminder in my phone ending next March, to make a blog entry every two days, just like I have it with my current personal challenge: #365daysOfSelfies. Blog entry on that this week. Feel like I can make guarantees like that now, since I now have added self-pressure and not outer sources awaiting certain posts. (Thanks, guys, but this was definitely a Me thing I needed to pressure into doing, if that makes sense. Seriously though, thanks for waiting this long for certain posts).

I have a slew of posts, to be honest, so take this one as my “I’m finally back” post. I have some unreleased posts from my last job…Spoiler: I lost my job a couple of months back. More on that later; most of my friends on social media are aware of why but I think I can tell my followers here the ‘why’ as well, right? (And to potential employers, I do not plan on making ish-posts about you all. I loved my last job, a new experience + a personal favorite sans the hours. But I loved every minute of it). I won’t go into heavy detail about it, though. The sting not only still lingers, but most of what I cannot say includes, like, confidential ish so forgive me if there are some changes in wording. I’m not about the life of giving out ish like that. But ANY way…

My gameplan is to post every other day, starting tomorrow, so expect a post this Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and then every other day next week as well. Monday might be delayed though, just a heads up. Me and the family are closing in on a new house – er, different house in a new neighborhood – and we hope to begin packing up starting Monday and all moved in by, say, Wednesday? Depends on how things work out. That said, I will try to get Some thing out via mobile, but don’t expect something as long as this (which is already getting too lengthy). That post, hmm…I might cover that topic a Facebook friend was curious about…

Stay tuned~

(PS. That wasn’t the ending I was looking for. So instead of that, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking for posts this week…if that was proper English:
Mon – About those consoles I’m seen “balancing” on Instagram…
Wed – The “#365daysOfSelfies” challenge: what is it about & why I am doing it
Fri – Re-up my “About Me” page; go into a bit of each bullet of “me”
Every Sunday, I’ll try to get up a post like this PS section about what’s in store for the week. Until then, folks~ )